Friday, January 14, 2011

What do you guys want?

So instead of just posting all these stories one after another, I want to shake it up a little. Like I said before, I'm a pretty solid PUA and I know a lot of people want to get better with picking up women (except Big Nasty). Leave you comment below on what you want me to post:

1. More college stories
2. PUA approach log
3. PUA information (just general stuff for people starting out)
4. Girlfriend/ ex girlfriend stories

Let me know! You guys are my audience so please feel free to comment what you want. If you want something other than these 4, let me know as well!


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Mike goes to his first party, runs away from rapist.

When I moved into college as a freshman, I moved in relatively early. My college is rather big, and waiting until move in day is essentially waiting to insert a giant black dildo up your ass, if you can avoid it you do. Luckily for me, I was able to move in the Thursday before everyone else (everyone moved in Saturday).

I didn't know too many people yet. I knew a few girls from college orientation and a few guys I went to high school with, but not many of them moved in early. The first "day" at college was pretty uneventful. I was alone most of the time due to not knowing anyone and it was dead on campus. However, on Friday things started lighting up.

A lot of people moved in Friday, which was nice for me because from my room I could watch it all. Let me tell you, there's nothing better than drinking a nice cool drink and watching freshman girls move their shit. I almost wanted to ask their parents if they knew they were going to be smoking cocks all semester, but I decided against it. At this point in my "PUA" career, I had just read a few things and was testing it out. I approached one of the girls I saw at my orientation but never talked to.

She was very short, 4'10 maybe and just overall a tiny girl. However, she was proportioned as hell. Very supple and nice tits and a cute round ass. I felt dirty flirting with her. Looking into her eyes was hard enough, but the fact that she looked like she was 10 freaked me out a little. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Excuse me, I'm new and I don't know where the Dining Commons are. Do you?
Her: Yeah! They are right over there :::Points::
Me: Hey thanks! ::::Looking at her moving stuff in::::: I take it you're a freshman as well!
Her: Haha yeah! I'm really excited! I hear this place has some great parties.
Me: Yeah they do. I'm actually going to one tonight, do you want to come?

Now the funny part is that I really didn't plan on going to a party. So now my problem was that I had to find one, and a good one. I spent that whole day talking to anyone who looked relatively older and might know where a party was. Thats right kids, I was one of "Those" Freshman.

I'm not a religious person, but if there is a god, he definitely helped me out with his magic skills. At dinner, I sat at a table with a bunch of loud guys. They seemed like a cool the time. We were talking and most of the time they were giving me shit for being a freshman. Turned out they were all on the track team. I told them that a bunch of girls and myself were looking for a party and one of their eyes lit up. They told me they would be having one at their house off campus and showed me where it was relative to the campus. I was in!

Fast forward to later that night. I give the girl a call and tell her that I'll meet her outside her dorm and to bring lots of girls. She agrees and I start to talk towards her dorm. I didn't have any alcohol since I had just gotten to college, but she came prepared. As soon as her and her friends leave the dorm, I can see all of them are totally hammered. They aren't just hammered, they are incoherent.

"Not my problem!" I thought to myself. The girl I talked to comes up to me and gives me a big hug thanking me for doing this. I figured I was in at this point. I navigate and 15 minutes later I find myself in front of the shoddiest, rattiest, looking house ever. It's the exact address the track athlete told me, so I knocked on the door.

One of the guys opens the door, looks at me and the group of around 6 girls, and smiles. We go in and I say "Hi" to all of the track guys. On a small side note: During dinner, one of them rubbed me the wrong way. He just seemed plain creepy and gave me a little trepidation when I decided to actually go to their house.

All the guys who were fun at dinner suddenly seemed different. In the presence of freshman girls, it was almost like their switches had flipped from "Funny college guy" to "Creepy rapist man". I was feeling incredibly uneasy at this point, mainly due to not knowing anyone really well and having everyone depend on me for a good time.

After 10 minutes of talking and mulling around one of the guys tells everyone to move into the basement. Being the flock of freshman we are, we oblige. Once we get into the basement, it's one of the track guys closes the door behind us. He then dims the light and says "Alright, how many of you freshman girls are down for some fun?".

At that point, all bets were off. I managed to slip by him and get to the upstairs. As soon as I got outside, I full on sprinted. I'll be damned if someone gets raped in my presence! The way I saw it, "Fuck that shit!".

I eventually got back to my dorm. It was only around 11pm at this point but I didn't give a fuck. Some track guy was probably drugging and raping someone, but I didn't want to be there to witness it. Since there was nothing else to do, I went to sleep.

The next morning I wake up and I have 3 missed calls and a handful of texts from the girl I brought to her party.

The texts were barely readable, so I just called her later in the day.

Me: "Whats up? You called?"
Her: "Yeah, why did you leave us?"
Me: "Didn't trust any of those guys, I didn't want to get raped"
Her: "Haha me neither! We left a little after. But hey, my friends like you and want to go out again sometime."
Me: "We'll see"

At this point, I wasn't willing to take another gamble on that group.....

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Locked out.........they won't let me in!

         If you read my previous post, you would know that this girl Brittany and I had a semester long fling. We hooked up pretty much every weekend and didn't give a fuck what her roommates thought. It was great at the time, but unfortunately brought me into a world of embarrassment and tiredness one night.....

After a month or two of straight hooking up, her three roommates got the notion that we wanted them to get the fuck out of the room while we were together. Normally, one or two would stick around inadvertantly listening to our lips smacking and the squishing of poon juice. Luckily for us, we got the whole room to ourselves one night.

As usual, we hooked up until the wee hours of the night. We then went to sleep, sharing a twin-sized bed. A few hours of terribly uncomfortable sleep later, I realized I'm about to piss my pants. At this point I only had shorts on. No shoes, no shirt, no ID Card, no phone, nothing else. In my still half-drunken stupor, I leave the room to go to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind me, I hear a "click" that means it locked. At the time I wasn't worried. I figured I could just wake her up and get back in to sleep on another bed.

After I piss for what seems like 20 straight minutes, I go back up to the door and sure enough, it's locked. I quietly knock on the door, but I can hear Brittany snoring in the background (Yes, she snored like a fucking bear. It scared me a few times). My drunk mind thought if I waited 5 minutes, she would be more likely to wake up. I wait a little longer and knock on the door again. This time I yell out a loud "Brittany! Wake up and let me in!". It's around 6am on a sunday and everyone is hungover and sleeping. After the yell, someone opens their door and screams "Shut the fuck up asshole!".

After sitting in the hall for around 20 minutes, I figure I'll just wait an hour or two and then wait until someone is up in the hall ( I had a good amount of friends in the same hall as her). I go downstairs to the main lounge and as soon as I walk through the security door, I hear it click behind me. I was now locked on the first floor without anything. No shirt, no shoes, no phone and no ID card.

At this point I started to panic a little. What the fuck was I going to do? I thought about going to my dorm (which was in a different building), but I would have to wait outside shirtless until someone opened the door, which was VERY unlikely at 6:30 am. After a few minutes on contemplating, I find myself lying on one of the sofas in the lounge watching "Back to the Future II". I'm completely hungover, exhausted, and pissed at the fact that Brittany wouldn't wake the fuck up.

After around an hour, this girl stumbles to the security door. She glances at me and our eyes lock. She's dressed in "fancy" clothes and is carrying heels, classic walk of shame material. She walks towards me and says "Long night eh? Do you need to be let in?". I wanted to fucking marry this bitch for letting me back up. She opened the security door and I got back infront of Brittany's room.

At this point, the adreneline is flowing like a river. I can hear her snoring, but I'm making sure this time she hears this. I am pounding the door with my fist as hard as I can and yelling "BRITTANY, YOU BETTER GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE AND OPEN THE DOOR!". This all culminates with my kicking the door, causing a god awfully loud noise. At this point, there are four of five people standing in the hall watching this. At one point, the RA came out of her room to see what was going on. She looked down the hall and I look at her with the most evil eyes I could make. She slowly walked back into her room and told everyone else to do the same.

Amazingly, Brittany is still fucking sleeping. I was in shock. I had woken up people at the over end of the hall, but not this bitch 20 ft away. That was it, game over. She had won, there was nothing more I could do.

I cumpled into a ball in the hall and attempted to fall asleep. I had been awake for around 2 hours now. I was drunk, tired, hungover, and felt like shit. In my attempt to sleep, I got awoken by another girl in the hall I knew. She shakes me and asks whats going on and I tell her the story. I then remember one thing Brittany had always told me.

"I always wake up to my cell-phone, I can't explain it!"

I ask the girl if she has Brittanys number, and she miraculously does. I call Brittany and wait. Riiiiing.......Riiiiiing.........Riiiiiing. It must have rung 12 times until it went to voice mail. That didn't defer me though, I was going to keep calling this bitch until she woke up. I called again and it went directly to voicemail, leading me to think she turned off her phone.

There was NO fucking way she was going to get away with that, so I sprint back to Brittany's room and keep kicking the door yelling "BRITTANY YOU BETTER FUCKING OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!" Everyone in the hall is awake at this point due to me screaming as loud as I can.

I can hear her get up and slowly walk to the door and open it. She groggily looks at me and I'll never forget what she said,

"Wow Mike, you're such an asshole".

That set me off and I went off on her for a good 5 minutes explaining what I had just went through. I was raging really hard but she thought it was hilarious. She was crying laughing. I eventually told her to "fuck off" and went to bed in her roommates bed.

She came over, still laughing and said, "Thats what you get for hooking up with me".

Monday, January 10, 2011

First hook-up of freshman year......

There are numerous times in college that people remember. Their first "A", their first time blacking out, their first time with a Brazilian transsexual.......

However, one of the most noteworthy ones is that of one's first college hook-up. Mine was pretty great, and prepare to hear the story of it. All the names have been changed to preserve their identities being revealed.

Coming into college, I was a nervous, low-self confident Freshman who was looking to lose his virginity and become big man on campus. My first buddy "Nate" was lucky enough to know a room where 4 girls were living. Within the first few days of college, we were bonding really well. My buddy Nate had 2 other friends "Greg" and "Seth". With the addition of those two, there were four of us and four girls........"Excellent" I thought in the Mr. Burns voice.

All four of the girls were hot too. The first one we met was "Hannah". She was around 5'0, blonde, beautiful face and fabulous rack. (Side note: I later went on to hook up with her my junior year, but thats another story and another post :) ) The next one was "Emily". Emily was around 5'3, long brown hair, cute face, and nice ass. Alex was the third, being around 5'1 with long brown hair and very very nice tits. She was a butterface for sure, but my freshman mind didn't care. Last was my target "Brittany".

Brittany was around 5'2, long brown hair, nice rack and gorgeous face. On top of that, she had a great sense of humor that matched mine perfectly. At this point, I was the shittiest with women ever. I had only dated a few and never gotten past a blowjob, so I was literally working with nothing.

The following week I worked on Brittany. I don't remember exactly what I did, but I do remember one thing that might have caused her to want my shit. She got sick, and soon after, I did too (we weren't hooking up yet, but we ate dinner everynight together). I left her a note saying something like:

"Dear Brittany,

Thanks for giving me Hepatitis A, B, and possibly E. Your subpoena is in the mail

Love Mike"

That weekend, all 8 of us were partying in their room. My other 3 friends had completely struck out with all of them but Brittany and I had chemistry, and I was going to be damn pissed if I was going to let it get away!

After numerous shots, we were both hammered. I remember teasing her about something, but then getting jealous when she would talk to other people. Like I said, I was terrible with girls. Fast forward in the night, we are both in the hall talking about something. At this point, I just didn't give a fuck anymore and went for it. I grabbed her head and plunged my tongue into her mouth. To my surprised, she retaliated, quite well too! We made out for a while and then went back to doing whatever.

Nothing else happened that night, but after our friends found out, everyone was giving us shit. At the time, I wanted to date this girl, but unbeknown to me, she didn't. We would hook up every weekend, most of the time just making out. After a few weeks, I moved on to feeling her up and fingering her and making her cum. She was very sexually inexperienced and told me that she had never cum before.

There are several sub-stories of us hooking up, my favorite is that one time we were hooking up on her roommates bed. We were both half naked and her roommate walks in, looking at us, and walks out. She then proceeds to scream at the top of her lungs. We both laughed and went back to making out.

Eventually, this culminated to when we fucked. After some time, she was getting sick of hooking up with me. I had helped her find her now very strong sex drive and she wanted to try out some other guys. In retrospect, I don't blame her. However at the time of, I was pissed. I devised the best plan. I would completely avoid her for a week, and when I came back into my life, she would want me so fucking bad she wouldn't be able to hold back.

Looking back on it now, I laugh. However, it worked! I didn't see her all week. I lied to all my friends and told them I had an insane workload and would be a ghost all week, but that weekend we were all getting hammered. All week I ate by myself, avoided all my friends, and updated my facebook to look like I was awake all night.

That weekend I see everyone and they are ecstatic that I'm back. Many shot later, I go up to Brittany and ask her if she missed me. She looks me up and down and says "YES!" and we begin to make out in front of everyone. I told her we were going to go back to my room. After a little hesitation, she said yes. I bring her back to my room and throw her down on my bed. Within 5 seconds we are both completely naked and touching each other. As I'm fingering her, I begin to go down on her. I was licking her clit while fingering her and driving her crazy. She was screaming at the top of her lungs that she was cumming and Im sure all my neighbors heard.

Afterwards, I put on a condom and proceeded to attempt to insert into her. Remember, I was a virgin so I was trying to figure out what the fuck to do. After around 3 solid minutes of fumbling around, I finally hit the sweet spot. I pushed in and realized the amazing feeling of pussy. The irony of the story was that I was actually nervous as hell, so I didn't really feel much. I pounded her for an hour straight until she told me it hurt her. I got up, took the condom off and laid next to her. I thought I was the fucking man!

Naturally, 2 minutes after taking off the condom, she must have realized I took her virginity and started freaking out. She abruptly left, on the verge of tears while I just laid there staring at my ceiling thinking "Fuck yeah man! I fucking did it!".

The next few days were filled with awkwardness. I didn't tell anyone that we had sex and I don't think she did either. Taking each others virginities made me really fall for her, but apparently she was freaked out that we fucked and wanted nothing to do with me.

To make a very long story short, I said "Fuck it" and moved on to bigger and better things.

We are still friends to this day. Ironically, this experience made out friendship stronger and safer. Since I've already fucked her, I have no real desire to do so anymore (Especially after seeing all her emotional baggage). We are platonic now, and I use her as social proof.

Moral of the story: Sex rocks.

Prepare for an adventure......

Hello all,

My name is Mike and I am currently a college student. I won't tell you where, but I will tell you that I have a great number of stories regarding college that you will absolutely find enjoyable and hilarious.

This post is going to be a quick one just introducing myself and who I am. I'm 21 and a junior wanting to become a physical therapist. I am also a very skilled PUA. For those of you who don't know "PUA" stands for "Pick-up artist".

Throughout this blog, you will read all about my stories thus far via college, as well as all my experiences this year. Prepare for a ride!